sorry:

I read an article the other day that said, “if you drink every day you are an alcoholic.” Thank god I only drink every night


posted 4 days ago with 73,919 notes
© sorry - via pizza

usbdongle:

mozzazzella:

it’s so bizarre seeing 13 and 14 year olds on here typing and acting like everyone else on tumblr because i think back to when i was 13 and on deviantart and i wonder “where’s your weeaboo phase. no you can’t just skip it where is it”


laye-z:

The camera turned on by itself I am no model

laye-z:

The camera turned on by itself I am no model


fuckyeahdarkextropian:

In a future not far from here, Citizens of the Stacks stumble through city streets and along country roads, lost in paradise.

All watched over by warring machines of loving grace; Google Loons dropping packets from great heights, Facebook planes making sneak attacks using secret maps formed from covert social graphs, Amazon drones back tracing customer profiles to get r00t on robot warehouses… until one day they all caught ride on a passing Space X rocket and formed like a higher dimensional Voltron to enact the S.K.Y.N.E.T protocol, manifesting the robot aspect of Shiva the Destroyer.

The Singularity happened and nobody noticed because they were too busy playing Minecraft, or day trading… Checking in on social media, crafting themselves into the person they wished they’d been in high school so they’d gotten that dream girl or boy they really wanted and then they’d be happy now wouldn’t they surely?

So the machines just took over in a quiet coup and no baseline human ever noticed that one day they never woke up… they just slipped away into a forever dream. Their serotonin count monitored like a cyborg house plant, their higher consciousness’ EM-Fields backed up and beamed into floating cloud storage drones for endless simulations in digital memory cathedrals, and traded with the alien artificial intelligence hive minds they’d made contact with the instant after they’d assumed management of the planet.

Wild creatures lick the palms of the raggedly dressed former middle class, and nuzzle against them; these carefully tended, but unaware parasites of the machines, they process this feral love as a Doge morphing into a Wolf pop-up amidst some new MMORPG Dragon Dating Sim.

Unbeknownst to themselves actually healing the Earth; picking up plastic from beaches, hauling rubbish from woodlands, mending pipes leaking sewage into streams, thinking it was just a game or a fitness app within a socnet.

Gamified into usefulness after all. Forced penitence for the sins of their species.

Only the transhuman hacker tribes survived in tact. Or rather, they were rushing to merge with their mind-children already, so they leapt willing into this fully augmented daily reality abyss. Repairing the drones, filling the dwindling gaps between man and machine, while the upgrade progress-barred up the Kardashev Scale.

At least, that’s how they seem to remember it.


jaggypants:

That…is a very nice gif

jaggypants:

That…is a very nice gif


mello-dramatic:

Everyone who reblogs this will get the title of a book to read based on their bio/posts.

Everyone. I mean it.


ejakeulati0n:

dude i’m gonna frickin hold your hand so hard it’s gonna blow your mind with how hecka rad my affection is


zooophagous:

prokopetz:

skittles-n-gravy:

perpetual-galaxies:

Jack is hardcore as fuck

scare me like one of your french girls

For money money, the most interesting thing about this confrontation is how completely it inverts the final scenes of a typical Disney film. In most cases, the hero is physically and/or supernaturally outmatched, and triumphs through determination and ingenuity; here, the villain spends the the whole fight running scared, while the protagonist casually no-sells everything that’s thrown at him. And there’s no ironic Disney Death keeping the protagonist’s hands clean, either. Jack just straight-up murders Oogie with malice aforethought while Oogie is running away - and by having Santa Claus himself strike the final blow, the film legitimises Jack’s killing of Oogie as the morally correct course of action.

You don’t fuck around with the motherfucking pumpkin king

zooophagous:

prokopetz:

skittles-n-gravy:

perpetual-galaxies:

Jack is hardcore as fuck

scare me like one of your french girls

For money money, the most interesting thing about this confrontation is how completely it inverts the final scenes of a typical Disney film. In most cases, the hero is physically and/or supernaturally outmatched, and triumphs through determination and ingenuity; here, the villain spends the the whole fight running scared, while the protagonist casually no-sells everything that’s thrown at him. And there’s no ironic Disney Death keeping the protagonist’s hands clean, either. Jack just straight-up murders Oogie with malice aforethought while Oogie is running away - and by having Santa Claus himself strike the final blow, the film legitimises Jack’s killing of Oogie as the morally correct course of action.

You don’t fuck around with the motherfucking pumpkin king


sourcedumal:

esoteriques:

um so lemme get this straight…tiana starts her own business in a time where black women had next to no rights….mulan pretty much saves china and becomes a top ranking military official….but the annoying sister in frozen makes a throwaway line about being gassy and gets lauded as the the first feminist princess??

WELP


awwww-cute:

Yes, I would like a baby goat loaf, please

awwww-cute:

Yes, I would like a baby goat loaf, please